After 2.5 months.... I guess I have some answers to my questions earlier....

1. Do misfortunes strike the unlucky, the guilty or those deserving, or innocents just the same?

I have found that misfortunes tend to fall upon the foolish, the unlucky, and those with various combinations of
previous 2 qualities, without regard to whether the subjects deserve them or not.

I have also observed that the evil ones tend to bring misfortune on themselves more so than innocent ones, not because they're evil or deserving of it, but because many of those people tend to be stupid as well. The innocents tend to be luckier because they're not as stupid, but once they're unlucky and struck, they fare not much better than the evil ones except for perhaps more care from those around them.

*If misfortunes are a punishment from God, it is a punishment for being stupid or being unlucky, not for being evil or for the sake of justice.

2. Does God hear the pleads or begging of innocents more so than the guilty? Are miracles and 2nd chances for those
held dear granted to those deserving, to none at all, or just randomly?

I believe in the everyday miracle that life exists. I do not believe in miracles that involve bending of laws of
physics based on human pleading. I would like to believe God hears the pleading of humans, but I do not see such
breaking of physical laws at all in any circumstances. Unlikely events happen once in a while, but never in a way
that is impossible according to known physical laws. Almost all miracles I have seen that are claimed by humans
involves a subjective interpretation of how each person perceives fate or chances rather than any actual improbable
twist of fate.

*If God hears the pleads of humans, I have seen no difference in how He treat people of different characters or those that loves Him differently. In fact, I cannot tell if He hears them or care to intervene at all in any circumstances.

3. Where is God when life and death is at stake in the present?

I think God is either present or absent at anywhere at anytime, at the same time and all the time. I think it is
more likely that he is present and I assume He watches over everything I do constantly. However, I have never
observed him intervening by altering the physical laws under any circumstances regardless of how critical things are
for us. In fact, I can assume His presence is constant but I cannot count on how that could make a difference than
Him not being there. Thus his presence vs absence now become a moot point when I make decisions.

*I have seen no difference in how things turn out whether life or death is involved or when nothing significant is happening - things just turn out... how they would have turned out. What we think is important alone really does not change any outcome except when we act.

4. Where do my destiny and I stand among all others in the face of God or fate?

My Mom likes to think that God is with us in the family due to odds we have overcome to get where we are today. I'd
like to think this is because our family has always take advantage of whatever good opportunity we could find. She
also think we receive some divine protections because we've mostly lived our life in His service and have
persevered. I'd like to think this is because we are cautious on many things and do not take unnecessary risks.
From my limited life experience I have learned that everything I held to be sacred is fair game to be destroyed by fate. Nothing I held dear is protected from fate merely by feelings. I have to fight to protect them.

*I will receive no special divine favor or protection for living my life the way it should be lived. God will have no mercy on me just as he will have no mercy on any other unlucky or evil person in the world. What will befallen me will be a matter of chances rather than whether I deserve it. He's not on my side or anybody's side regardless of what I or others do.

Paramedic school has finally been finished.

Often I've been asked why I go to paramedic school when I'm already making twice the salary of many paramedics. The answer I usually give is that this is to explorer my interests in medicine, as a backup secure job, or just to have something else in my life besides work. They would have been all correct, but not the entire reasons.

Some years ago I become interested in the following questions:
1. Do misfortunes strike the unlucky, the guilty or those deserving, or innocents just the same?
2. Does God hear the pleads or begging of innocents more so than the guilty? Are miracles and 2nd chances for those held dear granted to those deserving, to none at all, or just randomly?
3. Where is God when life and death is at stake in the present?
4. Where do my destiny and I stand among all others in the face of God or fate?

Now, none of these questions are all that hard to answer logically. But life and experiences are not just logic, therefore I decide to also go into areas where these questions can be experienced in person and witnessed with my own eyes. I will go see how men and women, from the most pitiable kind to the ones who have everything, born, lived, and die. I will stare into the face of the all-consuming flame in a burning house. I will go the part of the city where everything and everyone has been left to decay. I will see what kind of miracles actually happen in different areas of real hospitals as well as the kind of people serving in it.

I want to see what kind of work fate or God does in time and places such as these. If God is only someone to praise when times are good and ask help for when times are bad but has no other presence besides the mind, he is no better than an imaginary friend.

What I have found: (to be continued in Part II)

(Originally I wanted to write this in one part, but have yet to finish part II. I hope as my "busyness" winds down I'd be able to complete it).